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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28572648">then you took me by surprise</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/livtontea/pseuds/livtontea'>livtontea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>call me darling [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, Idiots in Love, Lowercase, M/M, No Beta, Talking, Tumblr Fic, todd doesn't like taylor swift</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:22:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28572648</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/livtontea/pseuds/livtontea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“come on, todd. you’re an angry person. a… very small person, filled with indescribable amounts of rage! this question is perfect for you.”</p><p>“you’re like, three inches taller than me, tops,” todd says, and then tacks on, “asshole.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>call me darling [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088981</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>then you took me by surprise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is a textbox fic crossposted from tumblr and can be found <a href="https://farahblack.tumblr.com/post/639452855088054272/what-makes-you-angry-todd-turns-his-head-dirk">here.</a> once again both dirk and todd are implied to be ND in this fic but i didn't tag for it because it's not explicit. disclaimer: i share todd's views and have no strong feelings about taylor swift.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="post"><p>“what makes you angry?”</p><p>todd turns his head. dirk is already looking at him. their hands are twined together under the covers, and he gives dirk’s fingers a thoughtful squeeze.</p><p>“what – is there anything that just, you know, fills you with – <em>indescribable</em> rage?” dirk continues, not waiting for todd to figure out how to answer.</p><p>todd frowns, giving himself a moment to think about it. dirk looks at him, eager-but-totally-nonchalant, the entire time. todd maybe takes a bit longer than he needs to think about it, just to see how long it’ll take for dirk to crack.</p><p>evidently, it is not long.</p><p>“so?”</p><p>“hmm.”</p><p>“come on, todd. you’re an angry person. a… very small person, filled with indescribable amounts of rage! this question is perfect for you.”</p><p>“you’re like, three inches taller than me, tops,” todd says, and then tacks on, “asshole.”</p><p>“are you going to answer or not?”</p><p>“well now i have to think about it again. you distracted me.”</p><p>“from <em>what</em>, todd?”</p><p>“my train of thought.” todd’s lips quirk, and so do dirk’s, when he adds again, “asshole.”</p><p>“fine, fine. get back on the train.”</p><p>they lay quietly for another while, dirk tapping out silent tunes on the back of todd’s hand. todd shuffles his foot back and forth against the sheets. they’re yellow-orange, like sunset, dirk had said when he was convincing todd to buy them, and not an obnoxious sort of yellow-orange. todd had held out, but caved in the end. he can’t quite say he minds.</p><p>finally, slowly, taking the time to let the syllables drip from his mouth like molasses, todd says: “taylor swift.”</p><p>“taylor swift?”</p><p>“yeah.”</p><p>“she fills you with indescribable rage? taylor alison swift?”</p><p>“why do you know her full name off the top of your head like that?”</p><p>“i have my ways. what about <em>taylor swift</em>–?”</p><p>“mm.” todd turns onto his side, bumping his knee with dirk’s. dirk bumps right back. “it’s really one of her albums, specifically. i don’t know enough about her as a person to be filled with indescribable rage.”</p><p>“well, maybe the rage can be very tiny. as long as it’s indescribable. like mona.”</p><p>“don’t bring mona into this, i won’t be able to look at her without thinking of taylor swift for weeks.”</p><p>“oh, god. you’re right. sorry, continue.”</p><p>todd clears his throat. “right. speak now. the album. that’s what fills me with indescribable rage.”</p><p>“really? why?”</p><p>“well… promise you won’t laugh.”</p><p>dirk laughs immediately, and claps a hand over his guilty mouth. “i can’t do that.”</p><p>“<em>promise.”</em></p><p>“alright, alright. i promise i will do my best not to laugh.”</p><p>“good enough. so, the album, the first song is called ‘mine.’ and it starts out… dirk, it’s just, it’s so squeaky.”</p><p>“squeaky?”</p><p>“i don’t know. whiny, squeaky, it has the ‘oh oh oh’ thing going on. and it’s not pulled off that… well. whatever. and then she starts singing about some – some <em>guy.”</em></p><p>“the horror.”</p><p>“shut up. so i can’t even listen to that song, it just pisses me off. for no reason, i guess. it just grates on my ears.”</p><p>“understandable. what about the rest of the album?”</p><p>todd is silent.</p><p>dirk pokes him in the side. “todd? what about the rest of the album?”</p><p>todd’s fixes his gaze on the ceiling. maybe dirk will lose interest and let him avoid a death brought on by embarrassment.</p><p>dirk, naturally, pokes him again. a bit harder this time.</p><p>“what about the rest of it? todd?”</p><p>he sighs. he isn’t getting out of this.</p><p>“…so you remember when you promised you wouldn’t laugh at me?”</p><p>“i did no such thing. i said i would <em>try</em> not to.”</p><p>“right. right, i, uh–” and then to prolong his red-faced misery a bit further, todd turns his head and mumbles the rest of his words into the pillow. it’s very close to his mouth, and very convenient, and he refuses to let go of the foolish hope that dirk will let him avoid the answer any longer.</p><p>“todd.”</p><p>“i haven’t listened to the rest of it.”</p><p>silence. then: “oh my god? you’re joking. oh my–”</p><p>and then laughter. stifled laughter, muffled through the hand dirk has clasped over his mouth, but traitorous laughter nonetheless.</p><p>“you promised you wouldn’t laugh,” says todd, a little petulantly. “it’s the first song on the album, and i just – i hate it, dirk, i really do, and i’ve never been able to listen past it–”</p><p>“can’t you just–”</p><p>“don’t say it–”</p><p>“–skip the song? todd, todd, why couldn’t you–”</p><p>todd slaps his hand over dirk’s and presses down. dirk laughs harder, vibrations from his mouth tickling the center of todd’s palm.</p><p>“that’s not how you listen to albums, dirk. no, listen to me, stop laughing. all the songs in order, alright? they all have to be in order, and i listen to them from beginning to end, and that fucking song–”</p><p>dirk mumbles something. todd says, “what?”</p><p>“mm mmph mm hmm.”</p><p>“dirk?”</p><p>dirk slaps at todd’s hand. todd realizes he’s still clamping dirk’s mouth shut, and moves it out of the way.</p><p>“you’re ridiculous,” dirk cackles through his fingers. “absolutely looney, you could have just <em>skipped–</em>” and then he’s dissolving into unrestrained laughter.</p><p>todd rolls his eyes and settles into the mattress, waiting it out. when dirk manages to take a few deep breaths without giggling, he takes the hand away from his mouth and wipes his face into a blank expression. literally wipes – he drags his palm from forehead to chin, smoothing out his laughter lines. todd scoffs internally – <em>ridiculous.</em></p><p>they lay together for a moment in silence.</p><p>“so,” dirk says, some time later, “indescribable rage. taylor swift?”</p><p>“…i guess.”</p><p>dirk smiles, fondly. “you’re ridiculous.” his eyes crinkle at the corners.</p><p>todd kisses his temple and pulls the covers over both their heads. they say nothing else, but dirk reaches a hand from beneath their little cove to switch off the lamp, and wiggles closer to todd. he tangles their legs together and kisses his partner’s cheek in a lighthearted apology.</p>
<hr/><p>the next day todd groans as dirk pulls onto the road and taylor swift blasts from the stereo. he feels the vibrations of <em>welcome to new york</em> vibrate in his chest. dirk cackles.</p></div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading! feel free to leave a comment and tell me what you think :) also reblogs on tumblr are very appreciated lol &lt;3</p><p>title, of course, from taylor swift's 'mine.'</p></blockquote></div></div>
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